On the day I stopped eating, I was seated across from my father in a Denny’s.

He told me that he had been dabbling in infidelity. Only the brand of dabbling my father subscribed to was not so much a brief blip in poor judgment, but a lifelong commitment to a tyranny so myopic in scope that the only valid response was to fuck the world.

I only learned of his tyrannical commitment later — through snippets of conversation told of girlfriends stashed in far-off cities.

“One of them he was with for years,” my mother had told me.


Photo by Youjeen Cho on Unsplash

“Just go eat a sandwich,” the man said to me.

I’m the human form of a funeral pyre, the spark as my steady shame and self-hate. My anger boils and I clench my toes as I walk beside him.

And yet I nod in silence, acquiescing to his flippancy. I nod because I don’t know better. I nod because I’m full of struggle and pain, and just trying to pass as normal. I nod because I almost died once from not eating anything — let alone sandwiches.

A year earlier, a Welsh doctor told me my heart would stop unless…

When you think about the times you’ve been able to sit still with your feelings, be curious about your emotions, and find perspective and meaning in that process, what is present in each of those moments for you?

For me, it’s safety.

Creating a Safe Space

I’d imagine that safety is a part of it for you too. There’s a reason why it’s tops on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

When we don’t feel safe — safe in our relationships, safe in our communities, safe in our friend groups — there is very little (if any) room for growth. …

(Trigger warning: Disordered eating, weight, and suicidal ideation are mentioned in this blog post.)

I’m a man in recovery from Anorexia Nervosa.

As a man, I’m not here to show you how strong I am, how impervious to crying I am, how in the face of an emotional peculiarity — or emotion, period — I find the willpower to stuff it down then proceed to crush a beer can in my bare hands. I am not here to show you what a man should be. Because the truth is that there are no shoulds.

At 18, I began starving myself.

I spent four brutal years doing everything I…

Trigger Warning: This is a true-life portrayal of my bout with Anorexia Nervosa. I describe my anorexic state in graphic detail, as well as my suicidal ideation.

(This story was originally published for NEDAwareness 2019 at NonWels.com.)

It’s National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, a time to recognize and honor the stories of those who’ve struggled and are still struggling with eating disorders, give them space to feel less alone, validate their uniquely and feely place in the world.

I am one of those who struggle.

The NEDA Awareness Week theme for this year is Come As You Are — a…

Hi. My name is Non Wels. I am a recovering anorexic.

I am 37 years old.

And I am a human. As we all are.

I suppose I should say that I am also a man, which I feel weird voicing. It’s not the admitting to my gender part. It’s the declaration — I am a man — part.

Saying so makes me uncomfortable.

Here’s the thing: I am in wholehearted opposition to the gross, perverted patriarchal gender norms that would lend any power or intrinsic value to that “I am a man” declaration.

I am a man, yes. Small…

I’m often in awe of the beauty of this world. My heart is full, and I’m in it, presently, in the moment. My eyes go blurry with tears and I think of how lucky I am to be here now, a speck of dust, a collection of atoms floating in infinite possibility.

These are my good moments. In them, I’m able to be fully immersed — one day at a time. The magnificence is bright, but I’m wearing the lenses that allow me to be a witness. I see it, and recognize that I am not in control. …

In January 2018, I’m launching a new podcast:

YOU, ME, EMPATHY: Sharing Our Mental Health Stories.

This podcast is a life-long goal of mine. It’s something I’ve been working toward, both consciously and subconsciously, my whole adult life—emotionally, creatively, mentally.

You, Me, Empathy will be a place to share our stories. A place to talk openly, without judgment. A safe space to dig into our struggles. A place to relate, find meaning in our individual experiences, and to help others who listen to relate and find solemnity in our voices.

It will be a community of feelers and seekers and heart-on-our-sleevers. A community of people who want to fight, in whatever ways we can muster, against…

How Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income built a successful online empire on empathy and connection

Pat Flynn, the mind behind the hugely successful SmartPassiveIncome.com (Source: Pat Flynn)

By Non Wels

If you’ve interacted with Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income (SPI), even in the briefest of moments in a busy hallway at some vast podcasting conference, you know that he has a remarkable ability to engage with his audience — openly, honestly, and with the enthusiasm of Marty McFly punching eighty-eight miles per hour.

Flynn is known for connecting and engaging with his audience, but it’s also simply who he is — as a father, husband, entrepreneur, and human. It’s a connection that is wholehearted, without ego, and with a genuine drive to foster meaningful relationships. “That’s how engagement should…

Examining the rise and rise of the post-truth age

Source: New York Times

This feature article appeared in the June 2017 premiere issue of Hyperlink. Purchase a copy.

By Non Wels

“Political language . . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” — George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”

On January 11, 2017, in a press conference held in Manhattan, then President-Elect Donald Trump fielded a question from CNN reporter Jake Acosta. The question was an attempt to get Trump to agree to let Acosta simply . . . ask Trump a question. It came shortly after Trump had lobbed accusations…

Non Wels

Writer, mental health advocate, dog lover, and creator of the You, Me, Empathy podcast (YouMeEmpathy.com) and The Feely Human Collective (FeelyHuman.co).

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