My Place Is With the Humans
Lately I’ve been pondering about my place in the world — like who I spend my time with, how I fit in, what it all means.
I do pay for therapy, after all. And in therapy, I’ve learned to be more emphatic and intentional in my views. I’ve learned to better stick up for myself. I’ve learned to be okay with expressing whatever emotion I am processing in the moment and not just internalize until I can’t poop for days.
As I write this, our (goddamn shitbag dickhole) POTUS is banning immigrants from entering the United States. He’s also restricting the rights of women to seek essential healthcare. He’s also giving more power to a racist.
Since when did we collectively abandon our humanity? Since when did we lose all capacity for empathy? Since when did we choose to see others as equals, as humans like us?
My father used to yell that I should just work at McDonald’s because, you know, I wasn’t living up to his ideals in a son: I had no brain for business, I liked to silly-dance like mom, I was introverted, button-up shirts weren’t symbols of my social status and wealth, and I believed wholeheartedly in the existence of dragons and faeries (all of these things remain true for me).
Once I found courage enough to respond, I told him that, yes, of course I will work at McDonald’s, and yes, I will love it. So there.
He loved that response.
I never did end up working at McDonald’s, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But that is neither here nor there. There was a time in my life where his abuse affected me in such a deep way that I was rendered useless.
I am happy to say that I am no longer rendered useless. I am rendered useful.
My place, I am finally realizing, is not with tyrannical fathers or jobs taken out of spite.
My place is not with people who make me feel bad about who I am.
My place is not with those who participate in the Life Morality Play designed to make those who don’t believe in whatever you believe feel real shitty about their place in the world.
My place isn’t with the people who hate, harm, repudiate those who are different than them.
No. That’s far from my place.
My place is with the dragons and faeries.
My place is with the dreamers and the silly dancers.
My place is with those who embrace people as they are.
My place is with the people who challenge me to be more empathetic, kind, curious, and creative.
My place is in the resistance against the hatred and bigotry.
My place is with the humans.
Your place should be too.
